I have divorced myself enough from the world that I am no longer caught in the culture of holidays. I do not feel the Christmas spirit in the way I once did. Now, divorced, without children, and having mellowed with age, I am no longer tethered to a family. I have spent years on the road, often when the culture of my origin celebrates a holiday. And I find myself strangely free, operating in an ongoing, high-octane happiness, that does not ride the waves of the world or follow the whims of custom.
I do not feel deprived or diminished by my neutrality. I do not feel left out or at a loss. I do not feel any grinch sense of meanness about it. It is more a matter-of-fact awareness that customs and calendar do not need to determine my life. I still did my share of shopping and sent my share of holiday cheer to others. And I actually do it more freely and fully than before when it was also burdened by duty.
I still love the lit houses and a good holiday movie, I still delight in family gatherings and lift a toast to the new year. Now, it is not the occasion that lifts me, but something beyond, something in the spirit of life, in a thread that weaves all my moments into a tapestry of wonder. I can find delight in the footprint of leaves left on the walkway long after the debris has been swept away, or a scatter of moving clouds against a blue sky, and even in the strange combination of aches and pains that come with an aging body.
I take my delight in life, in the moment as it appears, no matter what custom or culture layers over it. Metaphor and ritual may add meaning, may embed us in a shared history, but it is the human spirit thriving in life, as only it can, in the moment, that is our true heritage.
© Nick LeForce
All Rights Reserved
This old post, left unpublished from before Christmas, called out to be seen. There is no single season for delight, no holiday exclusively reserved to live life in the moment, We can find and follow the thread that weaves our lives into a tapestry of wonder at any moment. This privilege is reserved for a state of mind and not caged in the circumstances of life.
How do you keep your wonder alive? What delights you in your daily life?
Please share your thoughts and comments below.