Dear Mid-Summer 2018 Nick, Under August Skies,
Your dedication proves one thing: mind matters to matter more than matter matters to mind. It is another example of the universal phenomenon of balanced inequality and the beauty of complementarity, how the shapes of things fit together even when size and weight varies. Take, for instance, the ancient stone walls of Sacsayhuaman of Peru or Puma Punka in Bolivia, tonnage stacked on top of tonnage, some massive and some small, and so perfectly set one cannot even slip a sheet of paper or razor blade between them. They shall outlast the greatest works of our time because we have lost sight of our place in eternity.
How do you feel when you notice the vastness of the universe? Tiny? Insignificant? Recognizing that we are tiny in relationship to the universe does not mean we are insignificant. To me, it is just the opposite. The fact that we can perceive of the vastness of the universe is a sign of our significance.
You know the universe is but a speck of dust to God; and our milky way is a speck of dust to the universe; and our planet is a speck of dust to the milky way. We come, we go, we walk the speck leaving specks of ourselves, like tiny tracks across the sahara, unseen to the pilot in the sky who is focused on a distant peak. The ancients built pyramids and great walls, monuments erected to the unseeable and unknowable that catalyzes all life, as doorways to the great beyond.
But you know it does not take a massive structure to molt your old body and claim your inheritance in the world of spirit. You are a fallen angel, stardust made manifest, here to learn how to love in full measure. You will leave nothing behind, so make your life a monument to the stars. You have already built castles in the sky. Why not make a doorway there? It is, after all, a perfect platform to access the great beyond.
What "gold nuggets" litter your path? What treasured moments, life lessons, beautiful gestures do you carry with you in your heart?
See how the momentum of your life has taken you to this threshold. Look for the gold nuggets on this littered path. Then celebrate the moments you stopped “holding back,” the moments you stepped out, the moments you opened your mind, made the call, met the group, offered your hand, and shared your heart. It is not just the grand sweeping act, but the little gestures that add up to a life and ultimately fulfill your promise.
Now, looking back over the months, back at those moments between the future now-present and the present now-past, when you tapped the keys for this missive, and see how your whole path has been paved in gold. You, my friend, have been on the yellow brick road all along.
August 10, 2018: Strangely, before reading the above letter to myself on August 10 as scheduled, I composed the following as my daily intent:
There is an art to knowing when your are ready and a skill in starting even when you are not. Both require an engagement with oneself. The former has an eagerness of its own and only needs you to be the vehicle of its expression. It is easy, quick, impulsive, but can be rash. The latter is a transformation, a working with opposing forces to find a middle ground or meet the mix of needs and desires in the process of action. It is slow, hesitant, prudent, but can be paralytic. There is a lot of ground between the two, degrees of affection for each other, like fighting brothers, and a fair share of bickering at times. But truth is, they need each other and they know it. The passions of the heart need the temperance of the head. The calculus of the head needs the drive of the heart. In consort, they make magic look easy. It is a matter of remembering that you don’t take the turns at full speed. I am still learning to make it a practice: “OK boys, we’ve done a system check and here we go!”
Please share your thoughts and feelings below.