I Am Still Learning

I am still learning to ride this horse, to steer my own drives, and to direct the power that resides within me. I am still learning to look the animal in me in the eye and right my relationship with myself. I am still learning the mount and dismount, still learning the companionship of rider and ridden, still learning to use the feeling of contact, of seated saddle and legs wrapped, of side taps and delicate leans, and how to use our signal system with a finesse and intricacy that my conscious mind cannot fathom.

I am still learning the subtlety of those who have shared days on end and know the very breath of each other, who know the rhythm of thought and feeling, and the patterns of habit that make up a life. I am still learning that I am not always in charge and need not be; that there is wisdom and grace in a disciplined stallion and that we are partnered in life. I take this day as another lesson in the love of this life, in the effort to be effortless, and I feel a deep gratitude for the grace of our union. 

A horse and rider is a useful metaphor for the relationship between the unconscious and conscious. An undisciplined and unruly horse can be problematic, leading you wherever it pleases, and even dangerous. But a disciplined horse gives you the power to move in your life, especially when the discipline comes from mutual respect and care.


 Public domain close up of a horse. I have only ridden horses a few times in my life. I admire those who have a bond with such magnificent animals, which, for years, served as the most common means of transportation.

Public domain close up of a horse. I have only ridden horses a few times in my life. I admire those who have a bond with such magnificent animals, which, for years, served as the most common means of transportation.

© Nick LeForce
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